Thanks, Sarah! You made my night!
Friday, February 19, 2010
A BEST Friend
A best friend is someone who makes you feel like hearing about the keychain you received on Valentine's Day is just as important as sharing about her engagement.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The Best of Intentions
Lunch started out so great today. I actually got a lunch break for starters which I didn't think would happen because I was supposed to be in a training class all day. I met up with my boyfriend who drove me to the bank where I got a deposit made AND got my home refinancing papers notarized. I was on a roll. Those were things I hadn't expected to get done until the weekend. Like I said...things were off to a great start.
Next was food. We pulled up to Taco Bell and he asked if I'd like to stay in the car and review the refinancing application while he ran in to get food. My plan was to drop the application in the mail on my way back to the office so I took him up on the offer, but it wasn't 2 minutes into it that I realized I needed my checkbook and couldn't finish filling out the forms. I sat in the car for a few moments and thought to myself "This is stupid. The whole point of going to lunch like this is to be together". So I hopped out of the car and joined him in line.
The first thing out of his mouth was "Please tell me you didn't leave the keys in the car." CRUD! Until he mentioned it, I had totally forgotten that he brought them back to me when he headed inside. So now I was the one in line to get the food and he was the one outside calling AAA. But oh no...we're not done yet.
Getting food took forever. I placed my order within a few minutes, but there was a 20 order lag between the cashier and the kitchen. Finally they called my number and I grabbed the food and headed back to the car. He did not look happy. Turns out that his AAA membership (which is set to auto renew) was expired. There went the money he was saving for some fun next weekend. And to top it all off, it was going to be an hour before a locksmith could come help us. Our lunch breaks are only an hour long and we were running out of time.
We headed back in to Taco Bell to eat our lunch and wait for the locksmith. I finally notified work that I wasn't going to make it to my meeting on time (it ended up being canceled in the end) and then we just sat there. Silently for the most part. I couldn't say anything to make it better...it was my fault afterall. So we just sat there...not really even looking at each other. This is NOT the lunch I had planned.
Finally the locksmith showed up and...that's right, you guessed it, we're not done yet.....it is pouring rain. I stayed near the door where it was dry and he went out to work with the locksmith. I watched him, standing there, getting soaked. It took several very long minutes, but they got the doors open and we headed back to the office.
I felt horrible. He was sitting there in the cold car and totally drenched. I could see the goose bumps on his arms and at that moment, I would have done just about anything to make that horrible, guilty feeling go away...to make things all better...to make the day all better. But there wasn't anything I could do. So we drove back to work in silence.
Obviously in all this silent time today I had some time for reflection. I don't know what "worse" would have felt like here. I couldn't imagine it. And this was over some keys locked in a car. Seriously, if that's the worst thing I've ever done then I'm nearly perfect!....Yeah Right! That's so not true. I felt horrible over a silly mistake...something that will soon be forgotten. And yet so many times there's not even a twinge of guilt where there should be - the unkind word to a colleague, the selfishness toward a friend, the impatience at the stoplight...I could go on and on. So much unChristlike behavior and here I feel guilty over a silly mistake....somedays I wonder how God even puts up with me! It's a good think I don't depend on myself for salvation.
And then there's the feeling of greatfulness. Yes, I experienced both grace and mercy today...and everyday for that matter. As my boyfriend was standing in the rain, cleaning up the mess I created, I was very greatful for him...and it was so easy to feel that way. I don't think I'm alone in the lack of greatfulness I have on a daily basis for the sacrifices God made for me. I've become very desensitized to such things. Sure, I teared up a bit during "The Passion of the Christ", but that gut wrenching feeling of receiving something I didn't deserve (grace) and not being punished for what I've done (mercy) is rarely there.
Even though I still feel horrible about it, I'm very greatful for this little reminder of just how much God loves me today.
Next was food. We pulled up to Taco Bell and he asked if I'd like to stay in the car and review the refinancing application while he ran in to get food. My plan was to drop the application in the mail on my way back to the office so I took him up on the offer, but it wasn't 2 minutes into it that I realized I needed my checkbook and couldn't finish filling out the forms. I sat in the car for a few moments and thought to myself "This is stupid. The whole point of going to lunch like this is to be together". So I hopped out of the car and joined him in line.
The first thing out of his mouth was "Please tell me you didn't leave the keys in the car." CRUD! Until he mentioned it, I had totally forgotten that he brought them back to me when he headed inside. So now I was the one in line to get the food and he was the one outside calling AAA. But oh no...we're not done yet.
Getting food took forever. I placed my order within a few minutes, but there was a 20 order lag between the cashier and the kitchen. Finally they called my number and I grabbed the food and headed back to the car. He did not look happy. Turns out that his AAA membership (which is set to auto renew) was expired. There went the money he was saving for some fun next weekend. And to top it all off, it was going to be an hour before a locksmith could come help us. Our lunch breaks are only an hour long and we were running out of time.
We headed back in to Taco Bell to eat our lunch and wait for the locksmith. I finally notified work that I wasn't going to make it to my meeting on time (it ended up being canceled in the end) and then we just sat there. Silently for the most part. I couldn't say anything to make it better...it was my fault afterall. So we just sat there...not really even looking at each other. This is NOT the lunch I had planned.
Finally the locksmith showed up and...that's right, you guessed it, we're not done yet.....it is pouring rain. I stayed near the door where it was dry and he went out to work with the locksmith. I watched him, standing there, getting soaked. It took several very long minutes, but they got the doors open and we headed back to the office.
I felt horrible. He was sitting there in the cold car and totally drenched. I could see the goose bumps on his arms and at that moment, I would have done just about anything to make that horrible, guilty feeling go away...to make things all better...to make the day all better. But there wasn't anything I could do. So we drove back to work in silence.
Obviously in all this silent time today I had some time for reflection. I don't know what "worse" would have felt like here. I couldn't imagine it. And this was over some keys locked in a car. Seriously, if that's the worst thing I've ever done then I'm nearly perfect!....Yeah Right! That's so not true. I felt horrible over a silly mistake...something that will soon be forgotten. And yet so many times there's not even a twinge of guilt where there should be - the unkind word to a colleague, the selfishness toward a friend, the impatience at the stoplight...I could go on and on. So much unChristlike behavior and here I feel guilty over a silly mistake....somedays I wonder how God even puts up with me! It's a good think I don't depend on myself for salvation.
And then there's the feeling of greatfulness. Yes, I experienced both grace and mercy today...and everyday for that matter. As my boyfriend was standing in the rain, cleaning up the mess I created, I was very greatful for him...and it was so easy to feel that way. I don't think I'm alone in the lack of greatfulness I have on a daily basis for the sacrifices God made for me. I've become very desensitized to such things. Sure, I teared up a bit during "The Passion of the Christ", but that gut wrenching feeling of receiving something I didn't deserve (grace) and not being punished for what I've done (mercy) is rarely there.
Even though I still feel horrible about it, I'm very greatful for this little reminder of just how much God loves me today.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Unashamed
Corporate worship - what does it look like? I think most of us, at one time or another, would describe this as singing in church. So often we take this time for granted. Oh we sing all the right notes and words at the right times - and outwardly we appear to be "worshiping".
I have to admit, I really like the songs selected for this weekend but I wasn't really engaged in worship. I started looking around the room and God started pointing our some specific things - the High School students up front raising their arms in praise, the college guy in the back of the room singing at the top of his lungs even though he's off key, the single mom lifting her hands in surrender, the woman on her knees before her Lord.
I had one of those "Ah Ha!" moments this weekend. Corporate worship is collectively being totally alone with God. Not concerning ourselves by what other think or what we should be doing, but focusing our hearts and our minds on our Savior...who He is, what He's done - is doing - leaving the world behind and being totally in his presence.
I have to admit, I really like the songs selected for this weekend but I wasn't really engaged in worship. I started looking around the room and God started pointing our some specific things - the High School students up front raising their arms in praise, the college guy in the back of the room singing at the top of his lungs even though he's off key, the single mom lifting her hands in surrender, the woman on her knees before her Lord.
I had one of those "Ah Ha!" moments this weekend. Corporate worship is collectively being totally alone with God. Not concerning ourselves by what other think or what we should be doing, but focusing our hearts and our minds on our Savior...who He is, what He's done - is doing - leaving the world behind and being totally in his presence.
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