Have You Been Completely Honest With Me?

"Have You Been Completely Honest With Me?"

This is the last question Sarah and I ask each other during our accountability time every other week. It seemed like a crazy question to include when we were writing these up, but several resources suggested it so we included it. I have since changed my mind.

It would be so easy to just tell a little fib..."yes, I spent time with God every day this week". I mean, would it really hurt? And then I wouldn't have to admit to a failure, right? (Yes, I understand that even a small lie is harmful, but that's a whole different post.)

There's something about looking straight into the eyes of your best friend and choosing to break that trust. I just can't do it. So I do tell her the truth...even though it's hard....even though it means admitting to failure. And because of this our relationship has grown....and I have more courage to be transparent with her and with others. Sarah has never judged me for my failures. She just encourages me and holds me more accountable the next time. If that's not an example of Proverbs 27:17, I don't know what is!

The Most Beautiful Women I Know -- Part III

Sarah
My best friend and confidant. The one that taught me that some people can be trusted. Sarah holds me accountable and speaks the truth with God's love. She's very patient with me as I learn to be transparent.She's authentic and vulnerable, yet strong and confident.Sarah also volunteers many hours a week to encourage a group of Middle School girls in their walk with Jesus.They are important to her and makes sure they understand her love for them. Her ability to speak to others in their Love Language is just one more way she is God's love to others. I love Sarah's quirky (in the very best way) personality-- she's the epitome of "stable spontaneity" and makes time for even the smallest of advenutres.The time we're able to spend together is always too short.

Sarah, your beauty captivates those around you!

The Most Beautiful Women I Know -- Part II

Shauna
Fun. Authentic. Beautiful. Shauna's the sister-in-law I never knew I wanted and I can't imagine being without. She's creative and very talented, but even more humble. She shows God's love to those around her by not judging them and treating them with love, grace and respect. Shauna's very straight-forward when things need to be said. She doesn't beat-around-the-bush -- calls things what they are and addresses them head on. You can't help but have fun when Shauna's around. Her smile is contageous and she understands the value in a quiet afternoon. Her encouraging ways are a gift to us all.

Shauna, thank you for letting your beauty shine!

The Most Beautiful Women I Know -- Part I

Robin
A great friend and mentor who leads by example. Her enthusiasm is contageous. She's extremely organized but can devise outside the box solutions and go with the flow when necessary. Robin let's people know they are important and noticed by remembering the names of those she meets. She lives life to the fullest, has much to teach and you can't help but want to get to know her better. Her friends and family are a priority to her and she spends a great deal of time investing in those relationships. She is the hands and feet of Jesus to those who cross her path and volunteers considerable time each week to encourage a group of Middle School girls in their relationship with Him. Robin is very humble, giving God the glory for the blessings in her life and the woman she's become.

Robin, thanks for sharing your incredible beauty!

Beauty is Only Skin Deep

When you hear someone mention beauty, generally they are speaking of a physical beauty. It frustrates me when I hear people say "Beauty is only skin deep". Especially when they're using it to try to make someone who's struggling with the issue feel better about things. I understand that they have good intentions, but it's all backwards.

1 Peter 3:3&4 (New International Version)

3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

It's the beauty on the inside shining through that makes someone a truly beautiful person.

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Sarah Markley (http://www.sarahmarkley.com/) has started a 5 day series on Beauty. She has challenged her readers to blog about beauty as well. I don't know that I can pare down my thoughts into a single blog post so I've decided to challenge myself to post about beauty for the next 5 days as well. This seems completely doable on Monday morning, but we'll see if I can actually make it once I get into my week.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"...it's a statement I've heard all my life. Society tries to dictate how we perceive beauty. Magazines, television, movies - they all seem to say that I have to be tall, super thin, long hair, tan, etc. to be considered beautiful. It's different in other countries. Some see heavier or curvy women as beautiful and others may base it on skin tone. The point is that every culture has a definition of beauty - and you either have it or you don't. By the world's standards, most of us just don't measure up.

Most of us struggle with the issue of beauty at one time or another. For some of us, it's a daily struggle. I'm working to change the way I think of beauty...Beauty is in the eye of the Creator. God made each one of us unique (Psalm 139). It's intentional. The world would be a very boring place if we were all clones of each other. He created each of us with our own unique beauty.

May we see each other through His eyes and understand that we are all beautiful.

Abandonment

So I'm reading through this book and there was a statement that made me do a great deal of thinking:

"That is a woman's worst fear -- abandonment."

Now granted, there is a lot of context around this statement, but it is this one sentence that struck me. Anytime I read a generalization like that, my gut reaction is that they can't possibly know that. I don't know the authors and they don't know me, so how can they possibly state that about a group that includes me? Such generalizations can be very frustrating.

But in thinking through it, I would agree with this statement as it applies to me. If I were to make a fishbone diagram (yes, I know, the LSS geek in me is showing here) of my fears, I think the main root cause would be a fear of abandonment. Most of my nightmares (be they while I'm awake or just daydreaming) revolve around the loss or disappearance of someone a love and care deeply about. While there are may fears these could be attributed to (a fear of death, or loss, or a number of other things) I know that for me, it's all about me being left alone.

So why is that? I'm beginning to understand through my recent Bible and book studies that God created women as relational beings. This was another one of those generalizations I had to wrestle with. My friend Sarah commented to me one day that I am probably more relational than I think I am. It took me a while to figure it out, but she's so right.

I'm very much an introvert and would never claim to be a "people person" so I don't think of myself as relational. I also know that the things I give priority to in my life don't show it (although I am now making a conscious effort) don't show the importance of people or relationships. However, when I think about what's really important to me, it is the people I care about and the memories I have with them. Losing that -- being abandoned by them -- that truly is my deepest fear.

Thank you, God, for giving us writers to show us truths and friends to help us learn and understand them! Thank you that You will never leave me.