"That is a woman's worst fear -- abandonment."Now granted, there is a lot of context around this statement, but it is this one sentence that struck me. Anytime I read a generalization like that, my gut reaction is that they can't possibly know that. I don't know the authors and they don't know me, so how can they possibly state that about a group that includes me? Such generalizations can be very frustrating.
But in thinking through it, I would agree with this statement as it applies to me. If I were to make a fishbone diagram (yes, I know, the LSS geek in me is showing here) of my fears, I think the main root cause would be a fear of abandonment. Most of my nightmares (be they while I'm awake or just daydreaming) revolve around the loss or disappearance of someone a love and care deeply about. While there are may fears these could be attributed to (a fear of death, or loss, or a number of other things) I know that for me, it's all about me being left alone.
So why is that? I'm beginning to understand through my recent Bible and book studies that God created women as relational beings. This was another one of those generalizations I had to wrestle with. My friend Sarah commented to me one day that I am probably more relational than I think I am. It took me a while to figure it out, but she's so right.
I'm very much an introvert and would never claim to be a "people person" so I don't think of myself as relational. I also know that the things I give priority to in my life don't show it (although I am now making a conscious effort) don't show the importance of people or relationships. However, when I think about what's really important to me, it is the people I care about and the memories I have with them. Losing that -- being abandoned by them -- that truly is my deepest fear.
Thank you, God, for giving us writers to show us truths and friends to help us learn and understand them! Thank you that You will never leave me.
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