The accountability questions I want to write about this week are "What was your biggest disappointment?" and "How did you handle it?"
Me. I'm my biggest disappointment. And I froze.
It's the little things that really get to me. Friday I went to a birthday party for my boyfriend's niece. She's the sweetest, most beautiful 5-year-old you ever did meet and I was excited to take her the gift I'd found - something I really liked when I was her age.
Later, we were playing volleyball, just the 2 of us, and she looked me straight in the eye with her big, gorgeous, innocent brown eyes and said "I love you, Amanda!" I froze.
Thoughts raced through my head - Do I say "I love you" back? I haven't ever thought about it. Do I love her? I haven't really been around her much so I wouldn't say I even know her - can I love her? Is it worse to say something I don't mean or mean something I don't say? - and all this time she's looking at me expectantly. I think I tried to smile and just tossed the balloon back to her. LAME!
I know I missed out on something that day. I'll never know exactly what. But it doesn't stop there - oh no...it gets so much worse. We repeated that exact same scene not 10 minutes later! And what did I do? I FROZE! Are you mad at me yet? I sure am.
It's been a few days and it's still gnawing at me. I must find a way to let this little girl know just how special she is. Birthday presents aren't enough. I need to use words but how do I communicate with a 5-year-old?
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Ah yes...children. I think when it comes to kids, they dont think of "love" like we do as adults. I think she was simply expressing that she really really liked you, that she likes you as a person and she likes being around you.
ReplyDeleteI can understand how you wouldn't want to say "I love you" back knowing what we know as adults. But you could have, aiming for it to mean as a 5 year old means it. Or you could have said something like "You do? Aww...thats so sweet (name)! I sure like you alot too!" And I bet you the 5 year old wouldnt have even known the difference. ;)